Who are you?
by LaughingTragedy
Summary: "You didn't expect me to stay dead for too long now did you Captain Kirkland?" Warning: mentions of cannibalism, beatings, psychotic OC, vulgar language and humor
1. Chapter 1: Remember me?

**Me: Before you ask no it's not Canada being asked this it's an OC of mine.**

**Cadillac: This isn't going to be about the stuff I did in this world after Spain captured me right?**

**Me: Nope, for now it's just going to be a quick oneshot hinting you'll show up again.**

**Cadillac: Tell me the next time I stop here I terrorize England. Bastard still hasn't payed for-**

**Me: Let's save the pirate tales for the next story. Anyway I do not own Hetalia, song used, or Cadillac cars my OC Mr. C. Bart Cadillac on the other hand I do own.**

**Me: Oh and to help you visualize my OC here he is around Estonia's height, has hair like America but jet-black, Rectangular glasses that change from clear to red if angered or crazed and black if he's stoic, and his fingernails are claw like since he isn't the most (gets hit upside the head by Cadillac)**

**Cadillac: Enjoy the story and as for the visualize thing go to mrcadillac7 on deviantart there should be some shoddy drawings.**

The Baltic nations were walking up late to the meeting room in the same old routine. Estonia was on some electronic device, Lithuania was talking to Poland, and Latvia was crying about seeing "Mr. Russia" again. They were just about to enter the room when they noticed something out of place."Please don't make me go I-" Latvia paused and all the Baltics stopped, they saw what looked like a desert bandit or hobo with a guitar in his hands right outside the meeting room. The Baltics inched forward and studied the man, he was wearing a nightmare version of Egypt's clothes, wasn't moving, was quietly humming a tune Estonia could've sworn heard Denmark hum before, and seemed strangely familiar. Lithuania managed to stammer "Wh-who are you?" the man looked up and started playing the tune he was humming on the guitar. He then started singing "Down on his knees he saw the Devil weeping whinging his tongue." Estonia saw the man as just a nut-job and continued on to the meeting room with the rest of the Baltics. When they opened the door, they froze when they heard the next lyrics come out of the man's mouth. "_Mr. Cadillac_ doesn't even know he's been fighting his own." the entire meeting room heard this and shivered. The Baltics, Allies, Nordics, and former Axis started getting flashbacks of their old acquaintance

_Baltics' Flashback_

_-WWII_

_Shows the Baltics' trembling in front of a cloaked figure with a Cheshire smile and blood in his teeth_

_Axis' Flashback_

_-Italy's_

_Shows a chibi Italy being scared away by what looks like a young Cadillac_

_-Japan's_

_Shows Japan shaking while pointing his katana at a spectacled man in a bloody trench coat who has what looks to be blood running down his lips_

_-Germany's_

_Shows Germany being beaten by said bloody trench coat_

_Allies Flashback_

_-America and Canada's _

_Shows the two as children being taught a lesson by the man but he's wearing an outfit similar to France_

_-England's _

_Captain Kirkland watched in horror as he saw his first-mate, Bart "Hangman" Cadillac, rip out a conquistador's heart and eat it. Cadillac then handed him it saying "You finish it."_

_-France's_

_Shows a naked France running away from Cadillac wearing french clothes, wielding a rusty clever, and saying "GET BACK HERE YOU CHEATING BASTARD!"_

_-Russia_

_Just shows Russia and Cadillac chugging bottles of vodka _

_Spain's Flashback_

_-1500's_

_Shows Cadillac in servant's clothes well serving Spain and chibi Romano dinner_

_Nordic's Flashback_

_Shows Viking Nordics running away terrified from Cadillac covered in blood_

"He's tried shooting all the angels and Devil's inside, playing around with the good and the evil in his mind. Alone in the desert and cold, oh so cold." and with that final note the man disappeared, leaving a group of trembling Baltics, trembling Allies, crying Axis', and shivering Nordics. Lithuania turned to his fellow Baltic countries and stammered "Wa-was th-that who I think it was?" and to his horror the others nodded, driving Liet to tears. "He's gone now right?" England turned his head, hoping his old pirate friend was gone and to his relief saw only a guitar with a note. "Should we see what it-?" England was interrupted by America shouting "I'm the Hero! I'll see what it says!" the US personification went out the room and took the note, coming back in he handed to Britain and said "It's for you." The Englishman was terrified and looked at the note

_To England_

_Expect me to pass by sooner or later_

_From Cadillac_

_P.S. Check the chest_

The Brit then fainted and the whole room burst into screams and shouts and a few perplexed "Who's Mr. Cadillac?".

Out the Window

Cadillac was still in his hobo clothes and was watching the scene on fold England collapsed, America was freaking out, and France was clutching his knees and crying. _Oh this is going to be fun _Cadillac snapped his fingers and disappeared.

**Cadillac: I just looked at the cover art and that looks nothing like me.**

**Me: You were in disguise and you carry around that damn glove that can still change your appearance at will.**

**Cadillac: Yeah, but still I don't have nails that long or teeth that sharp, I'm not a damn ****Cossack.**

**Me: (nervously)Riiiiiiight. Anyway ciao for now.**


	2. Chapter 2: Who is Mr Cadillac?

**Me: Welcome back! Laughing Tragedy here and my OC Mr.-**

**Cadillac: Yeah, LT we need to talk. I found my character sheet in your sketchbook and it says "undecided" under race followed by a list of possibilities and... Does that say f###ing Cossack on there?**

**Me: Well I couldn't decide and also the Cossack thing would explain those daggers you call teeth.**

**Cadillac (red and black aura appears behind him and his glasses change to red) killkillkillkillkillkillkill!**

**Me: Okay, while my creation is ripping off Russia I'll remind you I only own him and no other character used in this story. Enjoy!**

* * *

Sealand was confused why most nations were quaking in fear at the mere mention of some guy called "Mr. Cadillac" so he walked over to Jerk-England and asked

"Who is Mr. Cadillac?"

England was able to regain his composure and was able to say "What the bloody hell do you mean who's Mr. Cadillac?!" The Brit turned to the rest of the room and asked

"Who here doesn't know who Mr. Cadillac is?"

All the micronations and Middle Eastern nations (excluding Egypt) raised there hands

"How the hell do you not know who he is"

"I never heard of him."

"Me neither."

"Not once have I heard of him."

Germany was starting to get irritated and demanded that they sit down so they can continue the meeting, but saw it was hopeless now that they were trying to explain just who the hell Cadillac was.

Finland decided to give Sealand a, less than truthful explanation

"Well, he was an old friend and helped nations around the house free of charge." _Dear God I'm horrible at lying. _

The personifications of Europe then started laughing hysterically and when America heard this he yelled out "Bullshit! He was horrifying monster who made me eat vegetables and called me an attention whore!"

China, the country who knew Cadillac the longest, yelled "Aiyah! He was a good friend made savage by you violent West countries aru!"

France decided it was time to interject "I believe _Angleterre _was responsible for turning him into a savage."

"It's not my fault he was bloody mental! Spain screwed him up so bad he gutted anyone who mentioned him!"

Spain took offense to this and tried to argue"I wasn't that horrible to him! I always treated him with respect and dignity, right Romano?"

The Italian looked at the Spaniard and stated deadpanned "You used to beat the creepy bastard whenever he talked back to you or escape."

The personification of Iran cleared his throat and all eyes were on him "You forget that we do not the story of this... Cadillac, was it? So can you please explain why you're all terrified of him and what does he mean by chest?" For once the Middle Eastern Countries agreed with one another and waited for the others' answer.

England stood up from his chair and tried to hide his fear "Very well, who wants to be the sorry bloke to tel- AAAH!" England felt something hard hit the back of his head, he looked behind him and found a rock with a note tied to it and some shattered glass. England picked up the note and read aloud

_Dear Nations (That's right I can hear you)_

_To America, you were always a spoiled brat who did whatever it took to get attention_

_To Spain, true you treated me okay but that was only after 2 decades of verbal abuse and torture that ended up giving me Stockholm syndrome_

_To China, thanks for defending me old friend_

_To those who do not know me._

_First, how the hell do you not know who I am? Didn't your parent countries tell you ghost stories about me or something? _

_To Iran_

_The chest is something I left in England's possession holding anything you wish to know about my identity including footage._

_Warning if you watch those tapes you will have nightmares._

_Ciao for now- B. C. Cadillac_

The room went silent as countries looked over their shoulder, hoping Cadillac wasn't there watching them. Iran broke the silence with another clearing of his throat and said "Well it's settled, next meeting England brings the chest and we play the footage. Now, let us continue the meeting." and so they did, though the former Axis and Allies were still disturbed knowing their old comrade was back.

* * *

Outside

Cadillac was laughing as he saw that he still struck fear in the hearts of these people. _I can't wait to hear their retelling of my story, _Cadillac snapped his fingers and disappeared.

* * *

Back in the meeting room

Latvia could've sworn he heard the mad laughter of his former tormentor.

**Cadillac: As satisfying as it was throwing a rock at the limey's head, when do I get terrify him?**

**Me: Patience is a virtue Bart, now viewers sorry if the chapter was short I just wanted to make it quick so you know I plan on continuing.**

**Cadillac: Weren't you going to illustrate this as a comic on your deviantart?  
**

**Me: You realize I'm only doing oneshots and fillers till I decide what storyline to start your misadventures.**

**Cadillac: And you haven't received a damn review since you started. (turns to audience) Do me a favor and give some critiques on his stories and his drawings, account is mrcadillac7 I apologize for his crude style, he is still learning.  
**

**Me: Well ciao for now.**


	3. Chapter 3: The Viewing

**Me: Welcome back, I'm Laughing Tragedy with me here as always is my OC Mr. Cadillac.**

**Cadillac: Hello and to my dismay we have a guess commentator, please give a warm hand to the Union Jack-ass, Arthur "England" Kirkland.**

**England: 'Ello 'el-AGH! (Cadillac grabs by the throat and lifts him up)**

**Cadillac: Listen, I don't like you, you left me for dead, treated me like a dog, and I just really hate that accent. So, you don't make any annoying quotes from British media and I don't snap you in half.**

**England: (through clenched teeth) Deal! (Cadillac drops him in his chair and then takes a seat across from him)**

**Me: Still not over the fact he took all your gold from the pirate days?**

**Cadillac: That, and the fact he left me on a godforsaken island with a knife lodged in my chest. **

**England: You can't still be hung up on that can you mate? **

**Cadillac: And when I was forced to work for you again after the French and Indian War you treated me like crap till shipping me off to Asia. **

**England: Oh please, you and the Asian countries are on good terms.**

**Cadillac: Let's just continue on with the story shall we LT?**

**Me: Okay, (mutters "Good thing I didn't call in Spain") once again I do not own anything but Mr. Cadillac here, savvy? **

* * *

England was setting up the projector in the meeting room for when they showed the footage of Mr. Cadillac _How the bloke got footage of us I'll never know. _When he finished he went to fetch the chest Cadillac left in his possession _Why me of all people? He hates me ever since _his train of thought was interrupted when he heard the door open. In came all countries/micronations and they took their seats and waited for England who came in lugging a pirate chest. He tried lifting it but he kept failing after which he just motioned for America to left it up. "Let's get this party started, I brought popcorn!" before America could rip open the chest England warned him "Seeing as me and Cadillac have been on shaky terms ever since 1740 so chances are the bloke booby-trapped it." England slowly unlocked the chest and swung it up, awaiting something to blow up in his face but alas nothing. Everyone inched forward to see the contents of the chest and saw nothing remarkable, a large collection of paper covered books, multiple stone and steel knives, and a collection of SDHC cards marked by date. The Latin American nations paled when they saw the knives and some went into fetal position muttering "don't let him take me Daddy." when Spain saw them he went into fetal also and kept muttering "Por favor, no me refiero a que te deje. No no me hagas daño, por favor.". "ALRIGHT! I always wanted to know what the old man kept reading." America grabbed one of the books and then gave it a confused look "Why does he have a book called "Poland: The Beautiful Country"? I didn't know you two dated." after hearing this Poland ripped the book out of US' hands and read through. After reading the first page the Polak got a confused look and pulled out a piece of paper that read

_Has shown to have a sense of humor similar to my own along with a fight or flight attitude towards others _

. "Like, what does he mean by flight or fight?" the Polak shook the book and more papers came out that read

_Subject has shown to be horribly shy and timid at first but becomes much more open once he get's to know you_

_Has shown a dislike of Russia possibly fighting over who invented vodka_

_Ironically extremely effeminate despite having manly kings with bitchin' beards in the past _

After reading aloud the notes, Poland placed them back, put the book back in the chest, and took out another one. "Hey! This one like says Italian History!" Poland passed the book to the Italian brothers who read through. After a minute Romano took out a note and read aloud

_The personification of S. Italy has shown signs of an inferiority complex, inadequacy issues, and anger issues_

_"_What is that idiota talking about?!" Italy took out another note "Ve~ there's a note on me too, fratello, and another one on both of us they say

_The personification of N. Italy shows signs of ADHD, abandonment issues from Holy Rome, and extreme cowardice thanks to me scaring him when I was a preteen, I wonder if he knows Holy Rome is still alive?_

_For some reason the Italian brothers spent most of their childhood dressed as girls apparently no one thought to tell Austria I would've but I got a laugh out of it. _

Holy Rome is still alive?" the north Italian began crying tears of joy and hugging his brother while yelling "HE'S ALIVE! HE'S ALIVE!" it took Germany, Japan, Spain, and Austria to pry the Italian personification of his brother. "I guess this explains how he was always able to speak our languages and predict when we were going fail, check to see if the bloke has one on me." England starting digging into the chest, throwing the books he wasn't look for at there respected nations. "Here it is "Rise and Fall of the British Empire" no doubt his notes tell of my glory days." after reading through he paled and took out a handful of notes and read aloud with an irritated tone

_Despite claims of being a so-called "gentlemen" the personification of England has shown signs of homophobia (he's in the closet), racist prejudice, anger issues, and alcoholism plus is as rude as they come. _

_Has shown to break down and cry after one or two beers possibly still stricken over his failure of parenting seeing as all his so-called "children/siblings" grow to hate him, which is fair since he neglected all of them except Hong Kong and America although the others never suffered as much abuse as Canada. Hopes my Matthew goes down the same road as his dimensional others and kills the bastard. _

_Has shown trust issues or psychosis seeing as he left me for dead after I stood by him, committed crimes with him, and worked with him after all the times he beat me in his drunken rampages then again I had Stockholm syndrome after being left for dead by Spain but I digress. _

_My relationship with "Captain Kirkland" is something of a love-hate relationship. On one hand he and I have shared many a drink and time together under the black flag, although on the other hand he has left me for dead for no reason whatsoever, beaten me while shit faced on rum, and has treated me like shit ever since abandoning me in the Caribbean and enslaving me after his spat with France._

America broke the silence and said "You told me he was just a guy you hired to babysit me and your other colonies." the personifications of Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, and Ireland looked at America with a shocked expression and then turned to England with death glares. " Never told your favorite child about Cadillac did you now?"

"Oh come off it Wales you and the others voted to leave him on that island as well." England took a seat and leaned back, unfazed by his brother's death glares.

"That's because when we objected you shot at us and said "All who object die with him" you pen cachi!" Wales was seething because Cadillac never forgave the UK brothers for the literal backstabbing incident.

The personification of Syria came between the two and said "Whatever quarrel you have it can wait, can we please just put it aside and watch the footage so me and my brothers can know just who the hell Mr. Cadillac is?" the UK brothers backed down and heeded the words of the female Middle Eastern nation.

After looking through the video cards they found one labeled "Cadillac Origins" and put it in the projector. "The hero says start the movie!"

The screen flickered and it showed Cadillac in an outfit that mirrored Denmark's, seating in an extravagant room with a full glass of wine in his hand.

"Hello nations, if you are watching this chances are the future countries of Sealand, Wy, and the nations spawned from Persia want to know just who the fuck I am, you want to watch me terrify the Nordic/Baltic nations, or France is watching this alone and hopes this is our sex tape. If you said yes to that last one sorry Francis but there is no sex tape."

France said with a smile "He knows me so well."

"I should explain first that I am a interdimensional peacekeeper this is one of the few worlds where it is one wrong move away from imploding, so naturally I use it as a vacation spot since I don't get crushed by demigods in capes. No, just bullet fire and blades stuck in my chest cavity. This first clip shows when I first came to this world. Roll the clip!"

The screen flashed to show a 8-year-old boy who looked like a shorter, black jet haired Latvia with glasses who was for some reason wearing Chinese robes and a paddy hat. The background looked much like Asia and one certain nation recognized it as his own land. "Um, high Bart here, or is it Chris they never really decided which was my first and which was my last. Anyway I'm here scouting new multiverses this one has shown no abnormalities except taking place in a different time period, it's possible I'm older than this universe. As you can see my terrifying sister is not with me as she is busy in one of her violent dystopias shooting down the undead or criminals. I am in what appears to be China and by the look of it the year must be around the same time as the Xia dynasty."

Some of the countries were shocked by the footage, some because they never seen Cadillac as a child or knew he had another name, others because Cadillac had a violent,terrifying sister they haven't heard of, and others because somehow the kid got footage from 2100 BC.

"As always I'm using my Minuscule Indestructible Cameras or MICs, tiny flying camera units that send footage directly to my computer gauntlet and keep filming ."

The countries jaws dropped as they saw a figure appear behind Cadillac that looked devastatingly like a 7-year-old China. " 你是誰，你是誰說話? (Who are you, who are you talking)" the young China was wearing what looked like soldier clothes and was holding a spear. the young China had a look of shock on his face when he heard the child repeat back"我的意思是沒有傷害我只是環顧四周，我的名字叫克里斯·巴特什麼是你的嗎？(I mean no harm I'm just looking around, my name is Chris Bart what's yours?)" the young Cadillac held out his hand for a handshake with an nervous smile. "藥王但你可以叫我中國.(Yao Wang but you can call me China)" the little Yao took the other hand and shook. The screen flashed back to the older Cadillac sipping wine

"I should explain the tech gauntlet is the metal glove I carry around and yes it's not a prosthetic I have a hand. Anyway this gadget comes with data storage, a dimension viewer, and a dimensional transporter that can withstand anything except a bullet point-blank. Anyway that was the first time I met China, of course I didn't know you people represented countries till I met Aztec but I digress. Anyway he and I became good friends and spent days talking and playing games with each other till I had to leave of course we ended up meeting again after Kirkland aka England sent me to look after India. The next clip is of when I was around 12-13 but 2907 years old in nation years I guess, anyway take note I was going through a violent phase so I may have been a little cruel back then, Greece knows what I'm talking about."

It flickered again but this time changed to what looked like Ancient Greece. Greece squirmed in his seat, Egypt chuckled in his hand since he recalled the first time they met Mr. C. The film showed adolescent Cadillac in black Greek robes, with a red sash, and wearing a mask similar to Turkey's. "Hello there Bart C. Cadillac here and today I'll be causing some mayhem for some unsuspecting Grecians." The micronations had a confused look when they saw the strange kid take out a sketchpad, that look changed to shock when they saw him turn a piece of paper into Cerberus. "Such a cute puppy, wanna cause havoc." the nations watched in shock as they saw the child mount the beast and rode off into a nearby village. The preteen Cadillac cackled as he rode his two headed hound into town and as he saw the petrified pedestrians staring at him he simply uttered "Boo!" and that's when all hell broke loose. The hell hound crushed buildings under it's paws and caused the citizens to scatter, hoping to escape wrath of Hade's dog. Cadillac made the mutt stop and dismounted, searching for any citizens who had the balls to stay and his eyes fell upon two children around his age. To him it was a strange sight one of them was a skinny, long-haired kid covered in cats cowering in fear and to his right was a tan kid in Egyptian robes who had a stoic expression. "Δεν είναι αρκετά τρομακτικό για εσάς;(not scary enough for you?)" Cadillac stared down the Egyptian who didn't even blink despite a giant two-headed dog was behind the other child. Cadillac turn to the cowering cat lover pulled him close to his face. The white robed child watched in horror as he saw the maniac's skin boil and melt of his bones yet he could still hear that mad cackle of his.

"Scared now?" Cadillac let go of the child and watched as he and his cats ran like hell in the other direction with the Egyptian in tow. Before the micronations could start crying, the screen flickered back to the wine sipping Mr. Cadillac.

"Oh that brings me back. You know the gauntlet comes with a disguise feature that allows me to change appearance, that's how I made it look like my skin was melting. It can also make me look like a person I know." the Cadillac on screen flicked his right hand and the nations watched in shock as he changed into the stoic Japan, suit and all. "It even changes my voice ehehehAHAHAHAH" the countries watched in shock as they saw basically a clone of the silent Japan start to break down in mad laughter. The nations shock turn to bewilderment as they saw his suit start to turn purple, his hair turn into a wild green, and his skin start to pale horribly. When he got back up he looked like a a gaunt clown that belongs in an asylum. "Sorry about that I never could stay in character when trying to play someone I knew. As for my sudden change of appearance I need to focus to stay in a certain disguise but my laughter just now reminded me of another old acquaintance." They watched in horror as they saw the horrible clown turn into their old friend in there old friend in the most nightmarish way possible.

"Next clip is when I visited Rome, Italy as a teenager and was the first time I met Italy, his companion Holy Rome, and Germania who of course if the grandfather/father to Austria, Germany, Prussia, Switzerland, England, Nordics, and anyone else who took his land after death I'm guessing. Note regular Rome makes an appearance but I use my knowledge of 100 different styles to beat him and Germania to a bloody pulp. Enjoy the show!"

The Germanic countries inched forward so they can get a better view of the screen. As the screen flickered they saw the Colosseum and in the center stood 2 figures, one looked like a muscular version of Italy the other a long haired viking Germany. "Who thinks they are man enough to take on the strength of the Roman Empire and Germania?" the Roman personification chuckled as he saw a short cloaked youth walk rush forward from the stands. "2 on 1 doesn't seem fair for you." the cloaked teen removed the rags hiding his face and revealed a familiar masked face. Rome tried to tackle the disrespectful youth and somehow he found himself on the ground with his arm twisted horribly. The teen turned to the bewildered Germania "Hopefully you're more of a challenge." Germania tried to take down the teen but found himself somehow thrown across the Colosseum with 3 broken ribs.

"If only Eris could see me now, arrivederci! and in a flash the scene changed back to the wino Cadillac.

"I'll give you some time to discuss me completely dominating your grandparents in that public challenge they issued. You have about 5 mintues till we begin, ciao." and with that he disappeared.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**England: Me and the Nordics aren't Germanic.**

**Cadillac: It would explain why so many of you are blonde though. **

**Me: Sorry if the chapter was a bit rushed ciao.**


	4. Chapter 4: First Encounters

**Me: (looks into past chapters) Dear God, did I really make all those mistakes?**

**Cadillac: You were rushing and you laptop is shitty.**

**Switzerland: Why did you say I was one of Germania's children?**

**Me: Honestly, I don't know I just listed European countries that had traits similar to him. In your case it's blond hair. I also mixed up a few of the dates and I think I miscounted the number of heads on Cerberus. **

**Cadillac: Swiss how many years has it been old pal?**

**Switzerland: Since I shipped you back to Germany and Prussia's house.**

**Cadillac: Speaking of which have you paid me back for all those shirts you riddled with bullet holes while I was forced to work for you free of charge?**

**Switzerland: How much were those shirts?**

**Cadillac: $70 each.**

**Switzerland: I'll go get my wallet. (walks out of the room)**

**Me: He isn't coming back you know.**

**Cadillac: Yeah I know, enjoy the story and again my creator owns only me.**

* * *

The nations went into there own little cliques and chatted about the content of the chest, the footage played, and the notes they found in the books Cadillac had. The Germanic countries (Germany, Prussia, and Austria) and countries spawned from the shattered remains of Rome (Italy, Romano, France was in the conversation but he was going through the video cards to find the sextapes he knew were there) conversed about the footage they just saw

"I can't believe we just watched our grandparents get beaten up by a teenage Mr. Cadillac." Germany knew Cadillac was a fearsome warrior who thirsts for blood, but he didn't think he could beat up the two strongest empires he knew.

"That un-awesome Cadillac would never win in a fight against my awesomeness!"

"Ve~ didn't he put you in the hospital with broken legs after you attempted to seize his vital regions?"

"All I know is mon ex-mari wasn't as violent as he was when he was serving under me, and oh did he enjoy every-."

"Yeah,yeah,yeah the creepy bastard was your bitch. We got it, he wasn't angry when he was my babysitter or when he was a house servant with Spain, well with me anyway every time the tomato bastard came into the room he growled and anything in his hand broke."

"I shall show my utter disgust and humiliation through piano." Austria began to play on the piano that appears by him.

The other allies were discussing the notes they found about England. "Who does that wanker think he is?! I saw him do much worse and he says I'm a psychotic? I'M THE PSYCHOTIC ONE?! THAT BASTARD ATE PEOPLE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!"

"Didn't he write something about Comrade England being killed by Comrade Matvey?"

"Oh please that kid is a spineless doormat who doesn't stand a chance against me." England scoffed at the idea Canada of all people could kill him, little did he know Matthew Williams was right behind him, heard every word, and started debating on either poisoning his tea or bludgeoning to death with a hockey stick.

"Why does he keep saying you left him on a island Iggy?"

"Hey the movie is starting! Everyone take your seats!"

All nations took there seats and awaited for the flicker. This time Cadillac had no wine glass in hand, at least they hoped that was wine.

"Welcome back nations! The next clip is of how I met Italy, the northern Italy I didn't meet his older brother till Spain enslaved me and forced me to babysit him. Enjoy the show!" The screen flickered to show teenage Cadillac sailing through the Venice river, wearing a French sailor attire and whistling "Fifteen men on a Deadman's Chest". After say a minute or two the young Cadillac and nations heard a high and girlish voice saying "Hey you! No boats in the Venice!" the screen changed to show chibi-Italy and HRE on a bridge yelling at the sailor Cadillac. The Italy in the meeting room then clutched onto Germany since he knows what Cadillac does next. With a flick of the wrist Cadillac disappeared and reappeared behind the tiny,tiny Italy and HRE smiling to show vampire-like teeth, then came the real nightmare. The nations saw in horror as Cadillac's skin began to turn green and scale, his nose turn into slits, his eyes turn into a snake's, his muscle mass doubled, and finally his nails turned into talons. The baby Italy and HRE was petrified as they saw the lanky teenager turn into a giant crocodile man-beast before their eyes.

"This is the part where you run away."

The creature growled and faster than you could say Pasta the two were dashing away to presumably Austria's house. It flickered back to a chuckling Cadillac

"I had so much fun scaring those two I ended up staying another week. I would've played a few pranks on Hungary and Austria but I already terrified them enough as children when I dressed up as Krampus and possibly gave Prussia nightmares for the rest of his life. I know my pranks and childish antics may have been a little extreme but remember every time I destroyed something or played a trick on you, you ended walking up the next day with a bag of sweets and anything destroyed getting repaired." Those who were tormented remembered finding repairs done and some sort of gift.

"Anyway next clip is of when I made the dumbass mistake of camping in Denmark during the Viking age when I was 20. That reminds me, you're all probably wondering why I'm wearing an attire similar to the Dane minus the hat, pants, tie, and stupid red cuffs. Anyway you'll find out why Denmark wears something like this in this clip, enjoy."

The Nordics suddenly started fidgeting and Denmark was starting to shake in his black boots. The screen flickered to show Cadillac in a dark forest with a few scattered bags and books around him.

"Hello there I'm B. Chris Cadillac also known as Krampus in Eastern Europe, Crocodile man in Italy, Hero in the other worlds, and Boogeyman all around. Today I'm in Denmark far away from technology besides these cameras and the gauntlet. So far I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary except for a couple of fairies and trolls for some reason, as it seems this universe isn't as normal as I would hope."

The screen flickered again to nighttime and showed a sleeping Cadillac sound asleep in a hammock, luggage scattered around him and his coat being used as a blanket. The nations eyes widened when they saw the Nordics, decked in Viking gear, come out of the bushes, grab Cadillac's luggage, take his coat, take his gauntlet, and watched in horror as Denmark his throat with a rusty hatchet. After which they left, not noticing the large wound was stitching itself back together and Cadillac started to get out of the hammock.

"They even took my trench coat, lovely." Cadillac grabbed a book, sketchpad, and pencil they left behind and turned to a page. "I suppose I should explain to those watching I'm going to use the myths here to scare them away and get my stuff back and if that doesn't work I can always toss them like ragdolls. Let's see nude seducer, nude piper, elfs, why is it these myths lack anything to fear? Okay here, Pesta the personification of the Black Plague."

The nations watched as he turned a piece of paper from the sketchpad into a replica gauntlet and when he put it on and flicked his wrists, the nations flinched. Cadillac's pores began ooze out a black substance, his red shirt and black leather pants turned into a witch's cloak, his hair changed into a torn hood that just barely hid his eyes, his boots turned into clawed feet, and finally his eyes turned completely white as though he had marble for eyelids. When the transformation was done he looked like Venom and the Witch from Hansel and Gretel's bastard child. "Luckily I put a tracking device on the other gauntlet and this one has GPS plus can control the cameras, giving me a bird's eye view of my attackers." the nations were too terrified of the Pesta!Cadillac to listen, Sealand was already grabbing onto Sweden and Finland for dear life, America was crying in England's arm, and the Nordics were physically shaking (except Sweden, never Sweden). The screen flickered and they saw the Viking!Nordics looking over the goods they just stole off a (supposedly) dead body. Sweden and Finland were going through the books, Iceland and Norway were fighting over the gauntlet and glasses, and of course Denmark was trying on the black trench coat. "I think I'm going to keep this, it would look much nicer with some red cuffs though." before the so-called "King of Scandinavia" could speak again, the Viking!Nordics saw with confusion the dead body they just left barren walk up to them and asked nicely for his things back. Denmark laughed at him and told him to move along.

"I tried playing nice." Cadillac then flicked his wrist

The Vikings watched in horror as they saw slimy, black tentacles sprout out from the man's back. Iceland fainted when he saw the corpse's skin ooze and start to cover him. When it was done they saw a even more nightmarish version of Pesta.

"Dinner time." and that's when the tentacles grabbed Norway and tossed him deep into the woods. The nations cowered in fear, unknown what to expect next (Japan was not among them since as soon as those tentacles sprouted and grabbed Norway he ran out of the room with a bloody nose). The Pesta!Cadillac turned to Finland and Sweden, seeing as Sweden was standing his ground and Finland was cowering behind him he moved on to Denmark. The tentacles wrapped themselves around his limbs and brought him face to face to Cadillac.

"When you kill a man and take his treasure, make sure he stays dead." Denmark was then thrown into a nearby tree, still wearing the trench coat.

Cadillac turned to Sweden and Finland "I'm not sure if you can understand me or not but if you can just give me my other possessions I'll be on my way."

After grabbing his bags, books, glasses, and gauntlet Cadillac snapped his fingers and in a flash disappeared. The screen flickered back to a once-again chuckling Cadillac.

"The reason why I didn't attack Sweden, Finland, or Icee was because Iceland was already put on Ice, went in hibernation, took a big chill pill." Cadillac then takes out a pile of papers "I got pages of these I could go on, as for Sweden he didn't show fear and I respect that, plus he wasn't the one who slit my throat in the middle of the night. As for Finland I at first thought he was a girl, really most of you are pretty androgynous and your voices don't help either I wasn't even sure if Norway was a guy." The female nations snickered at this, the Nordics laughed, and a few of the male nations (namely the Asian ones (including Japan who came back with a box of tissues when Denmark was being used as a ragdoll), Canada, Norway, Finland, South American ones, New Zealand, Romano, and I guess Greece if he cared) got a bit insecure about their masculinity. "Our next clip sadly does not involve me making Denmark my bitch, no the next roll of footage is how I met the Empires of Inca, Maya, and Aztec. Also you will see child/baby versions of the Latin America countries who for some reason ran away from me whenever I tried to pinch there face or pick them up but called me daddy when I brought gifts."

The Latin American countries started to recall their first meetings with Cadillac before he was tortured into insanity by Spain, he was like that uncle who always gave you gifts but was always so happy it creeped you out. Though to Mexico he was more of a father since he went out with his mom and taught him a few life lessons like how to cook, how to write, and how to kill anything with just a pointy stick.

"Oh yeah and also you will see how I was captured and turned into a slave by Conquistador Spain or as the South American countries and I call him "Satan", I also call the U.S., Britain, and France that. U.S. because I had to look after him when he was a teenager yet could throw me into a mountain, Britain because that bastard left me a pauper and for dead, and Francis because he cheated on me with Kirkland."

All nations turned to the now red-faced England and the somewhat smirking France.

"Enjoy the show and also if there are any small children shield there eyes when Spain shows up, he may seem like a nice guy now but trust me he was the Devil back then and that is coming from someone who has actually met the devil."

The nations turned there attention back to the screen (projection? know what let's just say screen) and saw a Cadillac in nothing but shorts, shades, his gauntlet, and a jaguar pelt cape, in the background the nations saw a stone room covered with gold and dead animals plus a wood table with a few clay glasses on it. France started laughing that perverted laugh of his which in turn resulted in a hit upside the head from England. A few of the female nations (and I guess the male nations who swung both ways or the other way) blushed a bit since Cadillac was built like MMA striker.

"Hello any family and friends watching this, as you can see I'm enjoying the advantages of being friends with the personifications of 3 of the most bejeweled empires. No really every where ever you step here you find either gold or emeralds. As you can see I'm wearing a dead animal I killed myself but instead of a snakeskin trench coat I have a jaguar pelt from my hunting trip with Aztec today."

Spain started to fidget as he saw a few of the South American start to cry and sniffle.

"I suppose you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Well as it turns out nations/empires are personified in this universe, as for why they didn't try to sacrifice me to Quetzalcoatl, well being able to make anything appear out of my gauntlet comes in handy."

Cadillac walked over to the table and took a swig of one of the bottles.

"While giving them gifts of silver and rubies to barter for my life I became good friends with the female empires. I even revealed them the cameras after our 4th hunting trip, but their kids don't know they find me scary enough already since I have pale skin and teeth of a monster. Though the adorable little ones do swarm me when I say I bring gifts."

Mexico remembered fondly of the wooden jaguar toy Cadillac gave him. The New Granada siblings started to recall the jaguar cubs Cadillac gave them to keep as pets. Cuba started to get a horrible flashback about the taxidermy crocodile he got for his birthday. The Latin countries were snapped out of there trance when they heard a familiar voice call out "Bart?". The nations were shocked to see a extremely tan, ginger-haired woman in a familiar white dress and jaguar cape but what really caught the room's attention was the small black-haired child in her arms. Mexico muttered a "Mama?" and began sniffling and silently crying.

"Documenting again?" the woman had smile that reminded the nations too much of Russia who just saw roadkill. Cadillac chuckled and motioned for her to seat after he pulled one out of his gauntlet.

"I'll make sure to give you a copy, now let me see the little _conetontli _Aztec." Aztec passed the little child to Cadillac's arms.

"When can we take him on one of our hunting trips?" Cadillac put the little one on his lap and pulled a wooden toy jaguar out of his gauntlet to give to the child.

"When he's 9 and also since you're leaving tomorrow we need to talk about our relationship."

Cadillac turned stoic and said with a somewhat regretful tone "What's there to talk? We bonded over hunting and taking care of the children, we had a great love life that lasted for a good 4 years. The only reason we split was because in war I prefer a more peaceful victory while you go for the fun bloodshed."

"There is still a chance we can make it work." her tone was sweet but here face turned to something that resembled Russia's "kolkolkol" glare.

"Perhaps when I return, now if you excuse me I'll be on the coast enjoying the sounds of the sea." the screen flickered to grim faced Cadillac with a glass of scotch in his hand. "Yes I went out with Rose. Inca taught me much of culture and the arts, Aztec taught me how to loosen my screw and just have fun. I felt like I was on joker venom the whole time I was there then came in Spain." the glass in his hand then shatter just as the screen flickered. It showed the Cadillac of years ago on a beach sound asleep, and they also saw a gang of Conquistadors with muskets heading towards him. The Conquistadors found the man odd, he looked like a mix of the local natives and European. The personification of Spain was among them and was only interested on the fact this man apparently oozed silver. They started poking him in the face with their muskets to see if he was alive. When Cadillac woke up he saw 10 bloody Spaniards pointing muskets at him. Naturally in this situation one's reaction is usually scream, but Cadillac calmly raised his hands and slowly tried to activate his teleporter, mistake #1. Spain thought he was going to escape and ordered his men to shoot Cadillac's gauntlet. The first 2 bullets were lodged in the gauntlet, the next 3 went through his wrist, and the last 5 went through his shoulder. The Spaniards watched with a mix of disgust and fascination as they saw the gunshot wounds around his shoulder start to heal instantly. Seeing as his only ticket home and the part of his body that allows him to make another one are destroyed, Cadillac lunged at one of the Spaniards put him in a choke hold. The Conquistadors were shocked by the man's speed and that he could speak English

"Listen, how about you go back on your ships and sail back to Europe okay?"

Spain answered with a simple bullet to the eye for Cadillac. The Conquistadors took him back to Europe to see if he's the golden goose Aztec spoke about before they killed her.

* * *

**Me: And I'll end on that not since this chapter might've been too long. **

**Cadillac: I miss Rose. **

**Spain walks in**

**Spain: Hola Bart! **

**Cadillac: BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU! **

**Cadillac lunges at Spain and takes out a knife**

**Me: Well while they're having their little reunion make sure to review and feel free to suggest what I should add to the story.**


	5. Chapter 5: Regrets

**Me: Welcome back, and thanks to CrystallineMaple for being the first reviewer. As always LT and Mr. C here and joining us to help me keep Cadillac under control is Canada aka Matthew Williams. **

**Canada: Hi-high. **

**Kuma: Who are you?**

**Cadillac runs up and hugs Canada**

**Cadillac: Son! **

**Me: Yeah, I'll explain that in this chapter if I can get to it, enjoy and once again I own only Mr. C here. **

* * *

The nations were shaking as they saw a bloody Cadillac fall and be taken away by Conquistadors, the screen flickered to show a grim faced Cadillac.

"When I woke up I was chained to a wall in a dark room, my possessions taken from me, and I had no feeling in my right hand. The only thing that shocked me was when he showed me Rose's corpse." Cadillac's hands began to turn into fists and his eyes started to water. Mexico went from crying to glaring daggers at Spain who was trying to sink into his seat hoping no one knew he was there. The screen flickered again to show Cadillac on the floor in a stone room with a chain around his neck, his hands bound behind his bag, and rags covering him. The room was much like a prison cell with no light and only the sound of a few water drops, at least until the door opened and 2 familiar countries walked in. To no surprise walked in a young Spain in a Conquistador suit but what was odd was to his side was a scowling Britain in a black witch cloak. Cadillac began to awake and sit up to see his captors. After about 3 minutes of awkward silence, Spain spoke

"This is the payaso I found in the New World, he seems to be a mestizo and the natives said he could turn paper into gold."

"Has he made any recently?" the cloaked Brit was studying the prisoner closely _Why does he seem so familiar? _

"Yes, though it was difficult since most of the time the little cabron tried to either escape or kill me with a sword he conjured." Cadillac smirked which resulted in Spain kicking him back to the ground.

"You will not disrespect me unless you want to end up like that puta Aztec!" Spain kept kicking Cadillac in the ribs till he saw he was coughing up blood. Spain brought himself down to Cadillac's height "Now are you going to show me respect?" Cadillac spat blood in his face.

Spain slammed the man's skull into the floor "That was just rude, at least the bruta had some manners before I killed her." When Mexico heard this he tackled Spain and kept choking him until Venezuela and Cuba dragged him back to his seat.

"As I was saying, the gold is genuine and I already have a surplus of it. Now do whatever you have to do to take away his powers." Spain left the two alone in the room.

Britain turned to the pitiful human being on the ground in front of him and preceded to chant some incantation. Cadillac started to get up when suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his chest and was forced to his knees. Cadillac looked up to the cloaked nation in front of him.

"What have you done to me?" Cadillac felt horrible, as though he lost another thing he treasured most in existence.

"Nothing much mate, just a simple 400 year magic suppressing curse. You seem familiar have we met?" the British personification was studying the man in front of him _Why does this bloke seem so familiar? _

Cadillac stood up and looked down at the cloaked man in front of him.

"Judging by your accent you must be the personification of England, you and I may not have met but I did know the ancient personification of Britannica as a child. I was known as a trickster among you people back then I placed snakes in her quiver, spiders in her armor, and I think I recall tormenting her children while dressed as a jester."

England sputtered "Th-that was you!?"

Cadillac gave him a stoic expression "I was a cruel boy back then and also I didn't know you people represented countries. I'm also known as Krampus to the Eastern European personifications I believe, Crocodile man to the Italian one, and Black Death in Scandinavia. Oh and I also beat the Roman Empire into a bloody pulp as a teenager."

England's jaw dropped after he realized he is in the presence of the scourge of Europe. The screen flickered to the Cadillac with a bottle of vodka in hand.

"After making the gold he wanted Spain turned me into a servant after some horrible torture sessions to correct my behavior since he thought of me as a savage. I'm not going to show that footage but if you want it's in the collection. The tasks weren't that bad since it mostly involved cleaning, cooking, and taking care of Romano, the real problem was the treatment." Cadillac took a swig of the vodka, looked at it, and then threw it behind him. "The sad part of having a healing factor is my metabolism can't allow me to get drunk unless I drink a keg worth of the stuff and even then it's only for a few minutes. The next clip shows Spain and me escorting Aztec's gold back to Europe since whenever it went without one a certain band of Celtics robbed us. Of course it ended up being a way to get rid of me after 50 years of working as a servant since, well you'll see what he did." Spain was crying in his hands since everyone was seeing the horrible things he's done in the past. The screen flickered to show a stoic Cadillac in Conquistador armor in a wooden room writing down something. The room looked like a mix between a brig and the captain's quarters and was filled with pen and parchment, at least that's what they thought since the only lighting was from a oil lamp that was next to Cadillac. Then gunshots were heard and Cadillac got up and went above deck, he saw a ship with black sails over the horizon and the crew was starting to abandon ship with the cargo. Cadillac went over to Spain, who was just about to get on one of the life boats, and grabbed him.

"Where do you think you're going coward?" Cadillac didn't even see Spain pull out the flintlock. It all happened in a flash one minute Cadillac was trying to talk to Spain the next he was on the ground with a bullet in his chest and Spain was looking down with a maniac's smile on his face.

"You see Bart I've run out of use for you, be sure to tell Britain I said hola!" Spain then gave a madman's laugh and went off in his lifeboat leaving Cadillac for dead. The Spain of the present had his head down in shame_ Romano, Mexico, and everyone else hates me now_. The screen flickered to show a bloody Cadillac in Captain's Quarters repeatedly stabbing a portrait of Spain, he froze when he heard the sound of wood slapping on wood. He went out back on deck only to get shot in the chest by a bloody pirate. Cadillac saw his attacker, he looked much like the English personification but his eyebrows were not as thick and his hair was brunette, as for his attire it was much like William Turner's from Pirates of the Caribbean. Cadillac remained stoic as he simply pulled out the bullet and calmly stated

"If you're looking for gold the bastard Spain took it with him after he left me here to die. Judging by your looks your brother is the English personification take me to him at once unless you wish to find something sharp in your gut."

Cadillac sighed as he saw the corsair pulled out a rapier and point it at him. Cadillac grabbed the sword and ripped it out of the pirate's hands and then forced it into his gut. The Welsh personification was terrified as he saw the man's hands instantly heal after he just grabbed the blade of his sword. Cadillac heard a click of a flintlock and felt something cold and metal press against the back of his hand. Bart raised his hands and turned to see Britain in a red coat and a tricorne hat pointing a gun to his head. Cadillac saw two other pirates behind him who looked much like the Brit in front of him but they had red hair and somehow thicker eyebrows.

"You called?" England smirked as he saw Cadillac surrender.

"Like I told your brother, the bastard took anything of value. I'd be willing to help you seeing as he left me here to die." Cadillac circled the Brit who in turn kept the gun pointed at the Conquistador.

"And what makes you pirate material exactly?" Britain should not have said that.

The nations watched in shock as they saw Cadillac grab Britain's wrist, dodge a stream of bullet's from the redhead twins, throw a knife into one of the redhead's shoulder, and finally brought England to his knees with his arm twisted behind his head.

"Was that a little too much?" Cadillac then gave Britain a Cheshire smile and started to laugh like a madman's laugh.

After being released, Britain gave the man a handshake and after they got on their ship he said "Welcome aboard the Queen's Revenge, Mr. Cadillac."

The screen flickered again to show a chuckling Cadillac.

"I ended up working with the band of scoundrels for about 2 centuries, here's some footage of our many attacks on Spain under the black flag. Oh and also I added some music to give it a little flair." Cadillac chuckled and then the screen flickered to show him and the Celtics on the Queen's Revenge getting ready to pillage a incoming ship. This Cadillac was different he was disheveled, his nails were claw like, and his Conquistador coat was tattered and riddled with a few bullet holes plus the nations could've sworn they saw six flintlock handles poking out of them. The music then started and they brought out the planks.

_Hey kid_  
_(Hey kid)_  
_Do I have your attention?_  
_I know the way you've been livin'_  
_Life so reckless, tragedy endless_  
_Welcome to the family_  
_Hey_  
_There's somethin' missin'_  
_Only time will alter your vision_  
_Never in question, lethal injection_  
_Welcome to the family_

The film turned into a sort of montage showing scenes such as Cadillac shooting down a Conquistador. The next showed Cadillac fighting two Conquistadors, stabbing one in the chest and then pushing the other one into the blade. The next involved England slitting the throat of a poor Spanish bastard who's necked turned into a crimson geyser.

_Not long ago you'd find the answers were so crystal clear  
Within a day you find yourself livin' in constant fear  
Can you look at yourself now?  
Can you look at yourself?!  
You can't win this fight_

It flickered to show the Welsh and Irish personifications getting into a knife fight below deck with some of the crewsman, the next scene showed Cadillac tearing the heart out of Conquistador and then taking a bite out of it, and then it showed a tied up Spain kneeling before a bloody Cadillac who raised his cutlass above his hand.

_I see, you're a king who's been dethroned  
(Been dethroned)  
Cast out, in a world you've never known  
(Never known)  
Stand down; Place your weapon by your side  
(By your side)  
It's our war; In the end we'll surely lose but that's all right  
(You'll surely lose to me)_

The nations had mixed emotions about the montage, the Celtics enjoyed watching their golden days, Spain was rocking back and forth, and the South American nations were rooting for the pirates. Before he brought down the blade the screen flickered back to regular Cadillac who was laughing as though he was high on laughing gas.

"I apologize for any children watching, anyway next clip is of how England fired me. If you want to watch more of the footage from our glory days boys it's in the collection." The British personification paled when he heard this. _  
_

The screen flickered to show Cadillac and England at the bow of the ship, in the background was a tropical island.

"Any reason for docking here Captain?" Cadillac was uneasy _Why do I feel like I'm about to be stabbed in the b-AGH!_

Cadillac felt a sharp blade go through his side and then he felt a pistol be put in his hand and a burlap sack put over his face. Next thing he knew he was lying on the beach of the island, hearing his captain yelling

"Sorry about this mate but can't keep a mad dog like you alive for too long, give Satan my regards."

The screen flickered again to show a grim faced Cadillac.

"I spent 3 years on that island, 2 years of waking up to rats gnawing on my flesh, to scorpions stinging me. The island had no food so once the rats and scorpions ran out I resorted to eating slices of my own flesh. After the second year of solitude I started to go insane I heard voices, I saw hallucinations of Rose, my sister, and Kirkland. By the 3rd year what little sanity I had was starting to slip away until I was rescued by a French ship that was sailing pass. Take a guess who was on that ship."

The familiar flash showed a laughing Cadillac cradling his knees on some beach. The nations recoiled in disgust as they saw the state Cadillac was in, his hair grew into a mangled mess with bits of scorpion in it, his skin was stained with blood, his clothes looked like they were chewed through by swarms of animals, but what really caught their attention was the fact Cadillac was pulling a pistol out and pointing it to his head. He started to speak but something was strange about his voice, it sounded more high-pitched and much like the clown's laughter.

"Hehehehe, so this is how the great Cadillac dies? With a bang, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Before he pulled the trigger he got a look of surprise. He then got up and started running closer to the water, in the distance they saw a French ship. Cadillac then smiled, not that sadist smile, a "Thank You Jesus!" smile. He started waving and yelling "OVER HERE!, AQUI, QUI!". Meanwhile on the ship, the French personification was sipping wine in the captain's quarters when one of his seamen (I know seamen comes with another meaning, try to be mature) came in.

" Capitaine, il ya un copain sur l'une des îles et il semble être l'un de l'Espagne.(Captain, there's a matey on one of the islands and he seems to be one of Spain's.)" France told him to pick him up.

The screen flickered to show Cadillac on the French ship thanking the captain (France) in 3 different languages.

"I can't thank you enough sir, I'm in constant debt to you anything you ask I will attain for you." Cadillac didn't notice the perverted look on the man's face.

"Ohohohohohohoh, anything? In zat case." France then grabbed Cadillac's ass. At first Cadillac blushed and was in shock then that turned into rage and he decked France straight in the jaw.

"I was thinking more on the lines of a privateer but if you're looking for a romantic relationship I suggest you try a different approach." the screen flickered to a chuckling Cadillac.

"He did try a different approach and we ended up going out/married for about a century, right now Hungary is squealing isn't she?"

And he was right, once Hungary heard this she was bugging France for details which he gladly gave, much to the dismay of those within earshot.

"Moving on, I served as a privateer taking in my former colleagues and being a thorn in their side for well up to the twilight hours of the golden age of piracy. That reminds me, I'd like to thank the Ireland twins for keeping my things clean while I was gone and if you wish to see what happened on that island there in the collection. Let the montage of privateer footage commence."

The former "Captain Kirkland, Terror of the High Seas" paled and was starting to clutch his seat knowing well what the footage contained. The screen flickered to show Cadillac wearing a cloak/cape much like France's but jet black. The outfit wasn't the only thing that was strange he had on mime face paint, he was in the crow's nest, and he was also aiming a musket at something in the distance. When he fired the shot the music started to play and he jumped off, abandoning the musket. The music was just plain creepy, as Cadillac flew a pirate ship the nations heard a lullaby start to play. As Cadillac pulled out a knife the music changed to a metal song. The nations saw with a mix of amazement and terror as they saw Cadillac tackle some poor pirate and decapitate him.

_Read me tonight, when the warnings said leave a shudder upon you_  
_Running from all that you feared in your life_  
_Soul of the night, when the sun mislead paint a horror upon you_  
_Marking the moment, displaying in my ghost of a life!_  
_And I can't get round the way you left me out in the open_  
_To leave me to die!_  
_So how can I, forget the way you lead me through the path into Heaven_  
_To leave me behind!_

Cadillac used the headless body as a shield as two other buccaneers shot at him. The nations suddenly recognized the pirates as the Ireland brothers. After the two used up the shot they had Cadillac tossed the body at them, stabbed the Northern Ireland personification in the gut, and pulled a noose out of God knows where.

_Now I can't stay behind_  
_Save me, from wreaking my vengeance_  
_Upon you, to chilling more than I can tell_  
_Burning now I bring you Hell!_

The nations watched in horror as Cadillac placed the noose around the non-shish kabobed Ireland brother and toss him over board, Cadillac then tied the rope from the noose around the other Ireland brother. Cadillac cackled a madman's laugh as the Irish twins plunged into Davy Jones' Locker. He went down below deck where they kept the rum, gutting numerous pirates along the way, and pierced a barrel so it would leak. The nations saw him take out a bag of gunpowder, pour it onto the leak, and he then pulled out a flintlock and fired. The nations also saw 4 other pirates start to come below deck. What happened was what Prussia would call "pure awesomeness", Cadillac started a great fire, threw 3 of the men into it, and then put a knife through the last one's skull.

_Free me tonight, as the animal kings breathe their terror upon you_  
_Caught in the moment, engaging in my_  
_Bloodlust tonight, now I can't control my venom's flow_  
_Get back from me demon, or be exorcised!_

As the fire started to devour the ship's hull, Cadillac ran back up to the top deck. When he got up he found Wales pointing a flintlock at him. The screen flickered to show the same Wales beaten to a bloody pulp on the floor with quite a few knifes in his back.

_All my emotion and all my integrity_  
_All that you've taken from me_  
_All my emotion and all my integrity_  
_All that you've taken from me_

The privateer continued on to the Captain's quarters where Captain Kirkland was sipping tea, thinking his men disposed of whatever was bothering them. Cadillac took out a flintlock and shot the bastard in the chest, while the shot didn't kill him it left him distracted long enough so Cadillac could see how many swords he could put in his gut. Cadillac pulled the bloody mess that was England over his shoulder, grabbed a familiar treasure chest that was in the room, and walked out.

_Now I can't stay behind_  
_Save me, from wreaking my vengeance_  
_Upon you, to killing more than I can tell_  
_Soul of the night, I know_  
_Now I can't stay behind_  
_Save me, from wreaking my vengeance_  
_Upon you, to chilling more than I can tell_  
_Burning now I bring you Hell!_

As Cadillac dragged England too one of the life boats he grabbed a hold of Wales as well. Once they were all in the little dingy they dropped into the ocean. As Cadillac stroked toward his ship he noticed the Irish twins hanging on for dear life to one another. The privateer pulled them aboard and then preceded to beat them all senseless until they were unconscious. He then rowed them off onto the ship while whistling "Drunken Whaler". Again the room had mix feelings. America was laughing, France just had a big smirk, the Celtics were clutching their stomachs as though they were about to get stabbed again, Russia and Canada were silently clapping with child like smiles on their faces, and Belarus had a smile that was as creepy as the song used. The screen flickered to show Cadillac silently chuckling.

"If you're wondering where the fuck was France and my crew, well they were cowering below deck. During my privateer days I earned the nickname "Ghost" because the ship I came from always looked abandoned. I also attained the names "White Devil, Hangman, Mime, Silent Clown, Black Bart, Ripper, and also Sadist" remember the fact these are the names given to me by a bunch of murderers and thieves the next time you try to do something that would anger me. The next clip is of how France and I discovered his colony/son in the New World." The nations got confused since they didn't know France had a son and all his colonies from the New World were female. The screen flickered to show France and Cadillac out in some snowy area when they stumble upon a small child holding on to a polar bear cub. Canada perked up when he saw this and those who remember him most of the time (France, Britain, S. Korea, Ukraine, Romano, Prussia, Netherlands, Russia (those last six I'll explain in a later story why they remember him)) smiled as they saw the adorable little Canadian.

"He's adorable! This must be the Canadian personification." Cadillac reached to grab the little child only to get his hand bitten by the wild animal he was holding. This caused both the child and France to laugh at Cadillac's misfortune. France picked up the small child and after Cadillac was somehow able to pull that damn bear off he passed him onto him. The screen flickered again to show a slightly sad Cadillac.

"Canada became the 3rd country personification I helped raised and the only one I raised from birth to adulthood. Funny story, I remember he at first called France "Mama" because of the long hair. Since my privateer days were over my tasks pretty much included taking care of little Matthew, taking care of that damn animal he carried around, and hunting whatever animal I'd make France cook."

France grimaced at this "He brought home a grizzly bear and made me cook the meat while he turned the head into a mantle and the rest into a rug. Mon dieu that thing gave me zhe creeps."

The nations reverted their attention back to the talking Cadillac.

"Raising him wasn't really difficult but I worry about the kid. When I started taking him on hunting trips he'd name his kills after nations, most common names were Britain and America. I also ended up raising him and America when they were around preteens since France and England were at war. You can imagine my shock when papers came in saying I was once again property of England. I found myself once again a slave but instead of taking care of just one cute little kid, I was stuck with a demon seed. If the US personification is in the room, you really were a brat as a child. Whenever I paid more attention to Matthew you threw a tantrum, you constantly beat him up for no reason, and also you threw me into a tree. Before the Revolution, Kirkland shipped me off to look after his colonies in Asia. The following clips will explain how in God's name I became a damn gift you people keep re-gifting." The nations started to feel a bit guilty since they treated Bart a bit like property. The screen flickered to show Cadillac in black robes catering to the preteen personifications of Afghanistan and India.

"I have a question for you kids." Cadillac sat down with the children, his tone was more serious than how he usually talked to them.

"By any chance would you two know the personification of China?" Cadillac smiled when he saw the kids nod in agreement."Do you two think you can get him to come over?" the children nodded again.

"Great! See if he can come with in the week." the screen flickered again to show Cadillac in his regular trench coat sitting at the table. The camera turned to show China coming into the room.

"You look great for a man that should be dead, aru." Cadillac chuckled and motioned for the other to sit down.

He takes out 2 glasses and a bottle of sage. "I could say the same about you Yao. All that time we spent with each other and the fact I was an immortal interdimensional explorer and you a immortal personification of a country never came up?" Cadillac passed a glass to his old friend.

"I did say my name was China aru. So any reason why you're taking care of these kids?" The smile on Cadillac's face turned into a grimace.

"It's a long story Yao, where do I begin?" The screen flickered back to the Cadillac in the armchair.

"After explaining my predicament Yao offered for me to go work for him. I have to say he was one of the best bosses I've had, of course he ended up "lending" me to his siblings. Vietnam was okay not very talkative though, Taiwan as well, the Korea's... Oh God where do I begin with those two?" Cadillac leaned back into his chair. "North Korea just stared at me all the time not making a sound with the occasional tantrum, and his brother sexually harassed me. It was only on one occasion since I broke his arm the first time." The Korean personifications fidgeted once their siblings started laughing. "After serving my time with the Asian personifications I was called back to England and served in his house for quick some time until he used me as a gift to get Russia to stop bothering him."

The screen flickered to show a Cadillac in a coat similar to Russia's but black and lugging the same chest, knocking on the door of the Soviet Mansion. A shivering Lithuania opened the door and motioned him to come in. After removing his coat he took a seat. Lithuania tried to break the ice.

"Is i-it true what they say about you?" Lithuania heard many rumors about this man and if they were true then they have met in the past _No it can't be he's just some servant._

"That I'm an immortal who has tormented many of the nations?" Cadillac stood up and grabbed a bottle of vodka they had on the mantle. "Yes, I've done many things I regret in the past so where is the big bad Russia?" Cadillac took a swig of the vodka, not noticing the long-haired man in front of him started to tremble and there was a shadow looming over him.

After hearing a few kolkolkol's, Cadillac turned to see a tall, platinum haired man with a pipe smiling down on him.

"That would be me comrade." Russia's smile reminded Cadillac of Rose.

"Nice to meet you, care to get to know each other more over a bottle of vodka? the screen flickered back to the original Cadillac.

"I never really saw why you find Ivan scary, really I've seen much worse than him in my travels. The next clip is of how I got Belarus to be terrified of me."

The screen flickered to show Cadillac and Russia chatting and drinking when all of a sudden Belarus comes in and stabs Cadillac saying "STAY AWAY FROM MY BIG BROTHER!" After stabbing him 40 times, Belarus started to notice his wounds healed instantly. Cadillac turned to Belarus and grabbed the knife. The younger nations looked away as they saw him start to carve his own face. When it was done his face was stuck in a psychotic grin.

"Boo." Belarus ran out screaming, not noticing the cuts were healing. The screen flickered back to a chuckling Cadillac.

"After my time with the Soviets, I was sent to Poland's house so he doesn't bother Russia. And then came the invasion which is how I ended up becoming Axis property. Note that Polak bastard forced me to wear a horrible and gaudy version of my usual outfit. He treated me like some sort of dress-up doll." the screen flickered to show Cadillac in a white trench coat with pink undershirt and pants. The nations silently laughed at this and some asked England if they can borrow the film to get pictures of it. The screen flickered to show the house on fire and Cadillac, clutching onto the same chest that was in the meeting room now, being dragged out by Germany. It flickered again to show a unconscious Cadillac ,in a normal white shirt and black pants, tied to a chair with the Axis (Italy, Germany, Japan, Prussia, Austria, and Hungary) looking over him. Cadillac started to wake up and when he looked up to see who captured him this time he simply uttered.

"You have got to be kidding me?" Prussia bent down to look Cadillac in the eyes

"Amazed to see the awesome Prussia, Mr...?" Prussia started to have a perplexed look on his face.

Cadillac suddenly recognized the man in front of him as one of the personifications he tormented as Krampus. A Cheshire smile appeared on his face followed by a madman's laugh.

"You really don't recognize me? After all I was the reason you checked under your bed as a child. You, Austria, and Hungary once knew me as Krampus."

Prussia laughed but then looked at the man again _Mein Gott he looks just like that creepy monster. _Prussia then rushed to Germany and cowered behind him along with Italy.

"Italy also knows me as the Crocodile man of Venice, as for Japan I only know of him by talking to his siblings." Cadillac inched forward to Germany. "You on the other hand I don't kno- wait,wait,wait. Your Germania's grandson aren't you? My have you grown since the last time I saw you." Germany at first thought the man was a nutcase but he recalled his brother telling him about a trickster who matched his description.

"Seeing as you just defeated Poland, laws of my contract dictate I'm now your property. I can get the paperwork from my trunk if you untie me." After Hungary untied him and Germany lugged in the chest, Cadillac reached in and took out a few papers, handing them to Japan he read aloud.

_To who it may concern _

_If you are reading this then you have taken/defeated a country Mr. Bart C. Cadillac (aka Krampus, Crocodile Man, Pesta, and White Devil) was working for. If you are a nation then he is now your servant/property until someone else takes him from you or his contract expires. If you so wish you may lend him to friends and he works free of charge. The expiration date of his contract is May 6,1945 and he is a skilled linguist. _

The screen flickered again to show a chuckling Cadillac sipping sangria.

"They were surprisingly good bosses of course Prussia attempted to "seize my vital regions" so I smashed him into a wall like his grandpa. As for Hungary she hit me over the head with a frying pan once and stole my gauntlet, and that was when I was working with Switzerland. Here's why she took it and also the reason why I worked with Swiss is because the Axis flew over his house once and I got left behind." The screen flickered to show Cadillac working on his gauntlet with a screwdriver and tweezers with Switzerland locking over him.

"So this can have you spy on anyone at anytime?" Switzerland was uneasy with the fact the device can be the ultimate voyeur machine.

"Not exactly, it has a safe search so if someone is "indecent" only a message saying "Try again later" pops up of course it can be taken off but it takes a genius to crack the defense features I put in this. Hell, even I can't do it"

"And might I ask what have you seen our dimensional others do?"

"Well nothing really changes except who you people fall in love with, and there's a 50/50 chance Canada kills/conquers you all." Switzerland didn't hear that last part so he asked about who falls in love with who.

"Honestly in other universes a LOT of you guys are either gay or bisexual, luckily Hungary doesn't know about this since she would grab onto this, get Japan to unlock the safety, and I'd never get it back." Cadillac again didn't notice Switzerland get a surprised look on his face and the feminine shadow looming over him. The nations laughed a bit when they saw Cadillac get knocked out by Hungary and have his gauntlet taken, all the while Hungary was chanting "YAOI!YAOI!YAOI!". Cadillac got up after a minture, rubbed his head, and looked at Switzerland with a stoic expression.

"Looks like I need to get it back from her, it was nice working for you Vash." the screen flickered to a slightly annoyed Cadillac.

"I was able to get the damn glove before she could get Japan to unlock it. After a few more months with the Axis I was reclaimed by England the day before the curse was to be lifted, the curse should left in about 6 hours until then England has offered to bring me along for a cruise to bury the hatchet." England paled but then relaxed when he saw the film was over. The nations got confused when they saw the film was still playing to show Cadillac and Britain on the bow of a ship. England paled and went to turn off the projector but even unplugging it didn't stop the film.

"I'm surprised you decided now of all times to bury the hatchet Arthur." Cadillac turned to see Kirkland was smiling, not a genuine smile a murderer's smile.

"Tell me, do you remember my reputation from our pirate days?" Cadillac started to get uneasy.

"No man lives if Kirkland says he's de-" Britain didn't allow him to finish when he stabbed him in the heart. After seeing his eyes glaze over, England tossed him overboard. The cameras followed the body down as it plunged into the dark waters.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**Me: Next chapter will show the REAL reason Cadillac hates England.**

**Cadillac: Stay tune. **


	6. Chapter 6: Have a drink?

**Me: We're back.**

**Cadillac: Also to patch up the plot hole left by last chapter'a cliffhanger, the chest came with a note saying if I were to die in this world the chest stays with England.**

**Me: Enjoy and also I don't own the series or songs used only Caddie here.**

* * *

The projector started to short-circuit but the film still showed what England did. The screen went dark and a message in red letters appeared "Think on your sins" the nations heard a horrible laughter that could only come from a creature God never meant to make. The screen started to show the body washed on a beach with seagulls picking at his flesh. The nations got confused since England told them Cadillac left without saying goodbye. Subtitles appeared onscreen saying "3 weeks ago" then came the music.

_Now possibilities you'd never considered,_  
_Are occurring the likes of which you've never heard,_  
_Now my angry soul comes back from beyond the grave,_  
_To repossess a body with which you've misbehaved_

The nations recoiled in disgust as they saw the corpse start to get up, they saw his flesh turned crocodile like and was eaten off in several areas. His side and chest had not flesh and revealed his rib cage to the nations. The weaker nations started to vomit when the corpse started to smile, the skin on his face started to peel off and crack around his cheeks and his once white teeth were rotten yellow. The screen turned black but the song kept playing with these final, horribly foreshadowing lyrics.

_We're coming back, coming back_  
_We'll live forever, live forever_  
_Let's have a wedding, have a wedding_  
_Let's start the killing, start the killing_

The projector burst into flames and resulting in England to get the fire extinguisher. After they took care of the pile of ash that was once a projector, the nations decided now was a good time to just ask England what really happened to Mr. Cadillac.

"I... Will you see... I couldn't let him ruin my streak!" England broke down in tears.

"And the reason why Comrade Cadillac was not dead before the boat ride?" Russia was tempted to just beat England with a pipe but he decided to show some restraint.

"He was still useful."

France on the other hand was more worried what the ghost of his ex meant by "start the killing".

"Any idea what Bart meant by have a weddi-" and that's when the lights went out. A projection illuminated the room that showed the undead Cadillac at an unmarked grave sight. The screen started to show flashes of Spain's mistreatment of both Cadillac and Aztec. The screen focused back to the grave sight when a gaunt hand shot out. As the rest of the body came to the surface, the nations saw in horror as a decomposed Aztec rose from the grave.

_Now possibilities you'd never considered,_  
_Are occurring the likes of which you've never heard,_  
_Now our angry souls comes back from beyond the grave,_  
_To repossess the bodies with which you've misbehaved_

Another message came up "You thought beating me to a bloody pulp every night would make me forget what you did to Rose? You actually thought I'd stay buried? Soon they'll all see what you two really are and soon you'll both receive penance." The projection went black and the lights came back.

* * *

Unbeknown to the nations, Cadillac and Rose (since nations/empires don't stay in the ground after death) were watching from the ceiling as they kept hidden in the shadows. Cadillac turned to his first love and started to signal a countdown. _3...2...1. _

* * *

The nations sitting closest to the chest (Romano, former Axis, and the Allies) jumped up as they saw the oak chest start to be engulfed in flames. The flames subsided but the chest was different, it's wooden planks turned to glassy obsidian and it's bronze ledges turned to silver. The chest burst opened, but instead of the former contents of books this one had smaller boxes labeled for Netherlands, Allies, former Axis trio, and Romano. Holland took out the box labeled for him and was perplexed when he saw it's contents. Inside was a note and 3 "pharmaceuticals", one was a pouch of brown powder that said "Scarecrow dust:Strong", a syringe that said "Joker Venom: Strong", and a vial of clear liquid that said "Drink of Despair". _Weird, the old man said he didn't do drugs. _Holland took out the note and read to himself quietly.

_Dear Holly, _

_If you want to watch Spain break down in tears and fear you, blow the brown powder in his face. _

_If you wish to have the most surreal trip of your life inject or simply pour the contents of the syringe on you._

_Force the vial down Spain's throat and watch the magic happen. _

_From Mr. C _

Netherlands looked to where Spain was, he was looking through the new chest for a box with his name on it, and walked over. After grabbing a handful of the brown stuff, Holland tapped on Spain's shoulder, and blew. Spain at first saw Holland and then his sight blurred and the man in front of him turned into a familiar Cheshire smiling corpse. Spain screamed and fell down in tears, _Please God, tell me he doesn't remember the things I did to Rose's corpse. _The nations attention turned to the drugged Spain who was currently reacting to Holland the way one would react to Belarus or Russia. The effects soon wore off, Spain got back on his feet and went to see if their was a box for him. Mexico took out the box labeled for him and was surprised to see only a note.

_Who do you think your father is?_

The Mexican personification was confused _N__ations either have only one parent or no parent, right? _Mexico was sure if he did have another parent _It would have to bastardo Spain, but I was born around the time he and my mom were... It can't . _Mexico went to talk to his cousins about this _They were old enough to remember this stuff, Cadillac can't be my dad. _While Mexico was having a panic attack over the possibility his father was the boogeyman of nations, America was slowly opening the box he received. America got two notes, one addressed to him and another addressed to. _Who's Canada? Wait, my brother right? _America decided to read his message and was shaking in his boots as he finished reading.

_All REAL heroes die, you'll just have to settle for nightmares tonight, just like everyone else will. _

Canada took his out of the box without his brother noticing and read quietly as Kuma was pawing at him.

_I'll make them pay for how they treated you, son. _

Canada once again got that creepy smile on his face, the one that made Germany quake in his boots and the same one that gave America nightmares during 1812. _Being the boogeyman's favorite son does have it's advantages,eh? _Canada then went back to his timid self and took care of the bear saying "Food!". France opened his and found a simple black rose _This iz not a good sign. _China and Russia's boxes only had a bottle of their favorite drinks (Kvass and Vodka) with notes saying _  
_

_Save this for tonight old friend._

The Russian and Chinese man had mixed feelings about this, on one hand they were glad to see their old friend again, on the other he doesn't seem to be in the best mental state then again he never was completely right in the head. England brought out his wand as he opened his box. Instead of bomb in it was a simple note

_You didn't really expect me to stay dead this time Kirkland?_

England slumped in his chair _Why can't the wanker just stay in the ground?_ Germany was perplexed when he opened the box for him, the only thing in it was a small black hat with a note attached.

_I can't believe you forgot our misadventures as children, then again you never really recovered from that amnesia. I'll be seeing you tonight and I'm bringing another deadman who knows quite a few things about you. Be sure to keep the house clean. _

Germany made a mental note to make sure the home security system works before nightfall. Italy simply got a note that said _You'll find Holy Rome soon enough but for now I'll just string you along for laughs. _Italy was saddened as he remembered his lost love. Romano was a bit angry all he got was a note from Cadillac. _  
_

_Though you were forced upon me by a monster who enslaved me, I still consider you as something of a son. See you tonight. _

Romano was not sure if it was good news or bad news that the boogeyman considered him a son. Japan opened his gift and in it was a simple note.

_If you think you can prevent the dead from entering your home tonight, you're in for a very eventful evening my androgynous friend._

Japan was not sure if he should be threatened or insulted by this note. The nations decided they spent too much time(it was almost dusk) on the matter and left to go home, unaware a shadowy figure was following. Spain caught up to England and grabbed on his collar.

"YOU IDIOTA! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO BEAT THAT DEMONIO TO MAKE HIM FORGET WHAT I DID TO ROSE AND HIM!?" Spain was in Conquistador mode since it was England's fault Cadillac was probably going to come at night and kill him. After calming Spain down, England brought him to a pub so they can get their minds off the fact they're probably be dead by midnight. After a few drinks the two's vision began to blur and then the bartender came with two drinks in hand. England slurred a bit "We didn't order any thing, wanker."

"It's from the gentlemen across the bar." the man pointed to a man in a black fedora and trench coat. Spain and England accepted the drinks and after consuming the whole glass they passed out. The man in black walked over to them and looked down.

"Let's get you two home."

* * *

**Me: I apologize if this chapter or the past chapter was mediocre, it would help if I got some suggestions. Come on review people. **

**Cadillac: Just finish this quick so we can get to the nightmare chapter. **

**Me: Ciao for now. **


	7. Chapter 7: Nightmare

**Me: Welcome back, for some reason my companion is not with me. He said something about gathering equipment for his exploits in this chapter. Instead joining me is the...(reads clipboard with guest names) Crap. **

**America: HOWDY! **

**Me: (rubs temples) Why did we have to be the nation that everyone sees as a immature child? **

**America: Cadillac isn't here is he? The guys is fucking crazy. **

**Me: That was the idea when I came up with him, anyway I own nothing but Caddie and also please review I need feedback to improve. **

**America: Offer something they usual flock to that. **

**Me: Okay vote to see who will go through the most torture in the next chapter.**

**America does a nervous (and loud) chuckle and then mouths "HELP ME THIS KID IS CRAZY!" **

**LT sees this, pulls out a glock, and shoots America in the stomach. **

**America: OW! OH, OH FUCK! SOMEBODY GET ME A BURGER!**

**Me: Feel free to suggest pairings but as you can tell from the 5th chapter I have something planned with Canada for a later story. **

**America: Ow, who? **

**LT goes over to America and points the gun to his head. **

**Me: As much as I'd love to try my Samuel L. Jackson impression it's time to start the chapter, enjoy.**

* * *

After carrying the intoxicated Spain and England to England's house and placing them on the couch stacked like sacks of flour, Cadillac snapped his fingers and Rose appeared next to him. Cadillac gave Aztec the shush sign and then took out a marker. After writing "Wanker","France's bitch","I'll blow you for $5", "Worst Father Ever" on England and writing "I molest kids", "I'm a Necrophiliac", and "Cadillac owns my ass" on Spain's face with permanent marker, Cadillac took out a clawed glove and put it on. Aztec had a skeptical look on her face when Cadillac put on the glove.

"Are you sure this will give them nightmares?"

"The man I took this from was a serial killer who used dreams as his hunting grounds, I also tested this before." Cadillac then placed the gloved hand on Spain's forehead. "Let the horror show begin."

* * *

England woke up with a hangover and hunched over, not noticing he wasn't even on land anymore.

"Oh bloody hell what was in that drink? England opened his eyes as he just noticed he wasn't on the pub floor or a house, but on a Conquistador ship on the Spanish main. Spain started to get up and after his headache subsided he realized he was on his old frigate. "This most be a dream." Spain turned to England and poked him to see if he can disappear.

"If it is, then why are we both-?" England stopped as he saw another Spain appear behind the one he was talking to. This Spain was different, he was younger, had Conquistador garb, and was carrying Spain's old axe and a burlap sack. The young Spain climbed below deck and the two older nations followed. The nations saw so far they were the only people on board, until they saw the bloody pulp of a man in the brig. The prisoner's hair was long, mangled, and covered in blood. His skin was covered in dried up blood but no cuts. When Spain opened the cell and stepped in they heard a familiar voice say.

"Where's Rose?" Spain started to remembered what happened during this meeting.

The younger Spain brought out the burlap sack and opened it.

"I told you I'd let you see the bruta, so here she is!"

The Conquistador pulled out a mangled corpse from the sack, it could barely be recognized as the late great Aztec Empire. The horror wasn't done for the prisoner, Spain chopped out the corpse's heart and brought the man's face close to his. The man's face was revealed to show a Cadillac with a look that mixed hatred and dread. England and Spain watched in horror as they saw the old Spain force Aztec's heart down Cadillac's throat. Cadillac tried to cough up the organ that he was forced to consume. The old Spain left Cadillac, but not before saying "Tonight you eat with the rest of the crew, make sure to eat your heart out." he cackled as he walked out. The imprisoned Cadillac began to cry and clutched on to Rose's corpse muttering "forgive me". Spain was glad it didn't show what he did to the corpse afterwards. The corpse-clutching Cadillac in front of him disappeared and was replaced with a bloody and bruised one. The old Spain walked in with his axe and brought himself down to Cadillac's height. The young Spaniard grabbed a handful of Cadillac's hair and pulled him close to his face.

"Now are you going to keep bitching about Rose like the crybaby you are or are you going to forget it and work for me as a slave?" the Conquistador had a smile that emitted arrogance and insanity. Cadillac looked into his captor's eyes and spat in his face.

"Fuck off."

the young Spain slapped Cadillac with the flat of his blade, after wiping the saliva with his coat, Spain started to cut Cadillac's stomach. The two nations watching turned a dark green and started to cover there mouths as they saw the other Spain cut open to reveal Cadillac's intestines. Bart started to scream horribly as he felt the ice cold blade start to slice through the skin and then Spain started to use the axe to pull out his bowels. It was a mess, a horrible mess of blood, guts, and bits of slightly digested food. England tried to vomit but couldn't as he watched the organs stitch themselves together, it was like watching fruit rot backwards in slow motion. After the wound was healed Cadillac looked up at the smiling Conquistador in front of him and said through clenched teeth,

"I'll kill you for this."

Before England could turn to his former punching bag and exclaim "What the fuck was that?!", there was a blinding light. When it subsided it showed the Queen's Revenge, England saw to his right his younger self and Cadillac in their old pirate attire sharing a bottle of rum. England didn't remember this meeting much but it all came back to him as his younger self attacked Cadillac yelling, "YOU CAN'T TELL ME HOW TO RUN MY SHIP YOU WANKER!". They watched as the younger English personification started to beat Cadillac with a broken bottle of rum. After Cadillac was knocked unconscious with cuts on the floor, the nations heard another set of foot steps. England and Spain saw another Cadillac step out of the shadows, he had a black trench coat, he had what looked like Freddy Krueger's glove on, and his glasses were bright red.

"I did say I'd kill you for what you did." Cadillac pounced and just as he was about to tear out Spain's throat, the two nations woke up screaming and covered in sweat.

As Spain turned to face England, the nations realized two things, a) they just had the same dream, and b) someone wrote on their faces with marker. In unison, they uttered,

"We are so fucked."

* * *

Meanwhile, strolling down the dimly lit streets of London, Cadillac and Rose were laughing as they watched the two nations' reactions on Cadillac's gauntlet (the thing comes with a built-in tablet).

"I still say we should've just slit their throats, it would've been so much funnier." Rose was hysterical and was currently leaning on Cadillac trying to gain her composure.

"True but screwing them mentally is just too much fun. That reminds me I need to make some more stops, ciao for now Rose." and with a snap of his fingers, Cadillac was off to his next victim.

* * *

**Cadillac: Now what did we learn?**

**Me: Don't use lethal force just because you find someone offensive and annoying.**

**Cadillac: Now say you're sorry.**

**LT turns to America who was currently consuming two burgers LT got him as an apology.**

**Me:(through clenched teeth) I'm sorry.**

**America: It's okay bro. Here (tosses him a burger he just pulled out his pocket) you're one of mine so you must love it.**

**Me: Actually I prefer pizza (tosses burger back) anyway maybe awhile for the next chapter, internet's been shaky and homework has been piling up thanks to snow. Ciao for now.**


	8. Chapter 8: VG

**Me: Willkommen zurück! If you know what language that is, you probably know who Mr. C here is going to be meeting.**

**Cadillac: Should you tell them the pairings you put in this?**

**Me: The only pairing they're probably noticing is Gerlta and Fruk, the rest are hinted here and there. **

**Cadillac: Do I even want to know what you have prepared for the nations I consider children? **

**Me: Just be glad I didn't put your sister into the story. **

**Cadillac: Just start the damn chapter. **

**Me: Very well, again I only own the psychotic Doctor ripoff here. **

**Cadillac: Don't you dare compare me to that arrogant prick. **

**Me: You both travel through space and time, you both are older than most worlds, and also you both carry around some sort of deus ex machina.**

**Cadillac: Just start the story you psychotic demon child. **

* * *

Visits part 1: Germany's house

Germany and Italy finally made it home after a long flight (what they did on that flight the fangirls can feel free to guess). After lugging in a sleeping Italy and putting him to bed, Germany thought he earned a beer. Just as he was going to grab one from the fridge he heard a familiar voice,

"Isn't it a little late for drinking bruder?"

_First Cadillac disrupts the meetings, now I have to deal with Prussia _Germany sighed and motioned for Prussia to take a seat. Prussia started rambling on about the many reasons why he was much more awesome then Cadillac.

"And really he may have trained mein Birdie to kill but I trained America and he was able to take down an Empire. But enough about me what took you so long to get here West?" Prussia let out that hiss he calls a laugh as he saw Germany's cheeks blush _Took time to screw your boy toy along the way, nice. _

Germany coughed and muttered, "Turbulence" Prussia just laughed more but the smirk on his face turned to shock as he saw a familiar Cheshire smile appear behind his brother. Germany was about to ask why his usually chatty brother was quiet but he realized why he was shocked after he heard a familiar laugh and heard someone say,

"Didn't Germania teach you to not gawk at guest." Cadillac took the empty seat between the two brothers.

At first Cadillac was amused by their nonplus reaction but after a minute or two he got bored. Cadillac grabbed one of the beers they had on the table and took a swig.

"Might not be able to get drunk but still has a great taste." Cadillac took another swig and leaned back into his chair, "Also if you're wondering what I'm doing here I just thought I might have a little family reunion for you guys, Germy come on out."

And from the shadows came another man the German and Prussian believed dead, although this one was a close relative. Prussia broke the silence by lunging at his father and crying "Vater!", Cadillac checked to make sure his cameras got the incident on tape. After prying Prussia of their undead dad, Germany decided to ask the obvious question,

"I know nations can comeback from the grave, but how are you here? Me and my brother saw you get stabbed to death and your eyes glaze over." To say the only living people in the room were curious was an understatement.

Cadillac took one last swig of his beer before causing the bottle to disappear in a flurry of flames,"Spain gave me a lobotomy with an axe, I have downed a bottle of poison, and Japan has seen me commit seppuku. Do you really think I'm going to let a little stab to the heart keep me down?" Germania decided to give the explanation,

"Bartholomaus made a bet with Teufel, he ended up gaining control of Hell." Germania grabbed the last bottle that was on the table and took a deep swig.

Germany turned to Cadillac with a expression that said "What the fuck did I just hear?". Cadillac giggled as he saw his expression and simply replied,

"I bet him I could defeat him in combat, I keep his head on a mantle.", Cadillac smiled but his glasses turned to shades. "After spending a decade or two torturing your old boss, I got bored so I thought I'd see if the big guy upstairs would let me see some old friends." Cadillac caused what looked like a wine bottle to appear, Germany could barely make out the writing on it but he could've sworn it said "Firewhiskey". Cadillac took a swig of the bottle and covered his mouth quickly, the two could've sworn they saw fire come out of his mouth.

"Where was I? Oh right, anyway I made a few changes to my contract, I get to see my dead friends and invite them to my place and in exchange I do more of his dirty work." Cadillac took another swig of the strange substance and smiled.

Germany was about to ask more but Cadillac stood up and checked his gauntlet for the time. "A shame, I'm afraid I have to go Ludwig, seeing as you're not the only person I'm visiting tonight. I'll be sure to tell Japan you said hello, ciao." and before Germany could stop him Cadillac disappeared along with Germania.

Prussia saw Cadillac left the bottle and decided to take a swig, the second the liquid went down his throat fire started spitting out of his mouth.

"OH FUCK! BRUDER CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! I'M TO AWESOME TO DIE OF BURNING!" Prussia ran to the sink and started taking deep gulps of tap water. Germany wasn't sure if he should help is brother and then call Japan to warn him about Cadillac, or find his video camera and film this.

* * *

**Me: You think it's a good idea to put your visits in separate chapters?**

**Cadillac: Keeps people interested, so next chapter I'm meeting up with Japan what otherworldly gadget are you having me break in with?**

**LT writes something down on a shred of paper and passes it to Cadillac.**

**Cadillac: You're kidding right? You realize the people have stereotypical traits so if I go in using these it will lead to an awkward moment.**

**Me: Yes but it makes me laugh and chances are some fangirls might have a weird thing for it. Feel free to guess what I'm making him use next chapter and guess where Cadillac got that bottle, ciao for now.**


	9. Chapter 9: Surprise Visits

**Me: Welcome back. LaughingTragedy here, my associate is not present because he had to go get some supplies for his big entrance at Japan's house. Note this chapter will have a lighter feel and remember humor isn't my strong suit so my apologies if it doesn't make you laugh. Also I only own Mr. C and I do not mean to offend anyone with the stereotypical reaction Japan is going to give in this chapter, enjoy.**

* * *

Japan was about to pass out as he entered his house, he was so tired from the flight he didn't even notice the lights wouldn't come on. Just as Japan was about to enter his bedroom something metallic and snakelike started to rope itself around his leg. By the time he noticed the tentacle wrap around him it became taut and was dragging him into the kitchen. Japan snapped out of his daze and tried to see if he could grab onto something, but that was difficult seeing as he could only see darkness. As he was being dragged through the living room Japan grabbed onto the door frame.

As soon as he touched it 3 more of the metal snakes enveloped themselves around his limbs. If you know your Japanese stereotypes you can guess what reaction this got out of Japan. The metal snakes started to slither up Japan and prop him up like a poster board. After Kiku was completely incapacitated and awake the lights came back to reveal the tentacles' master. Japan's eyes widened as he saw Cadillac, with what looked like Doc Ock's arms coming out of his back, holding his prized camera and one of his "private" mangas. Cadillac flashed that Cheshire smile that caused nations to quake in fear. _Satan if you can hear me I'll give you my first born child if you get me away from this demon _Japan considered praying to God but they're not really on the best of terms. Japan gulped nervously as he saw Cadillac had his clawed glove.

"I see you still run around in that ice cream uniform you call a suit." _Did I say first born child? Take whatever you want! My soul, my house, my "private" collection. _"Why would I want your hentai collection?" _Please don't tell me-_"Don't bother, Old Nick isn't going to help you Kiku."

Cadillac looked through the manga and whistled. "I have to say Jap you have a pretty filthy hobby." Cadillac threw the manga at Japan's feet. Cadillac started circling him, eyeing Japan like a snake would eye it's prey.

"How about a picture, it's going to be your last anyway." Cadillac put his face next to Japan's and pressed the button.

After the flash Cadillac turned to Kiku and smiled,"Now let's start the killing."

Japan started screaming and struggling, this ended after the tentacles released him and Cadillac put him in a bear hug.

"I'm just kidding you crazy bastard! It's great to see yo-" Cadillac paused after he felt something start to jab into him, "Is that your wallet I'm feeling?"

Japan blushed and started to spasm and apologizing. After a moment of awkward silence the two sat down to talk. Japan believed it was best to ask the obvious question,"How are you alive Cadillac-san and why the tentacles?"

Cadillac smiled,"You'd be surprised what Satan is willing to bet if you put 10,000 souls on the table, as for the tentacles I wanted to scare you and the biological ones I have would leave ink stains on your suit. Real question is Kik, why am I here?"

Japan paled, _Please don't say kill all the nations. _"Nothing too terrible of course, I'm just here to settle a few scores. Enough about me I have a few questions for you." _Please say you didn't find the nation stash, please don't say you found the nation stash. _

"Why did I find a handful of your "private" books with my son on the cover and quite a few of them marked for the junkie pedophile , Ivan, and someone with the the first initial Y?" Japan paled _That's right he considers that guy as a son... What was his name again? _Before Japan could answer, Cadillac was getting up, "I expect an answer by tomorrow and the filth involving anyone I'm close to I expect gone, ciao for now." and with a puff a smoke he was gone.

Japan took out his phone and called someone. "Remember those mangas involving that invisible nation Yao-san and you asked me to make? Hai, the blonde one you and the others fawn over but he always disappears. I need you to hold onto to those."

* * *

China was currently at home with S. Korea since all his other siblings were too busy and he couldn't escape him. The bubbly Korean was currently ecstatic after receiving a call and was acting much like a child who found the Christmas gifts in the attic. While his sibling was daydreaming about something, _By the look on his face it's something I do not wanna know aru. _Seeing as by the time Korea snaps out of it he'll be bothering him, China decided to break out the beer Cadillac got him and hope the alcohol well make Korea seem less annoying. China went to his kitchen and turned on the lights, after seeing who was in his kitchen he screeched much like a shrill woman. Korea was snapped out of his daydream that involved him and Canada finding new ways to use maple syrup (you can take a guess what those uses involved) and ran to the kitchen to see what happened.

In the kitchen was Cadillac covered in blood, holding a bloody machete in one hand, and in the other hand the severed head of Hong Kong. Cadillac smiled wide, flashing his many pointed teeth, and hissed,

"Dinner time." the two Asian siblings fainted.

* * *

**Cadillac: Should I be worried for what you have in store for Matt? **

**Me: Possibly, but I'm just going to screw him over in two future crack stories. Also you did make sure to use a FAKE Hong Kong right?**

**Cadillac: I was supposed to get a fake?**

**Me: I'll cover it in the next short chapter.**


End file.
